Friday, August 20, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
"She was sure they could amuse themselves for one hour. “After all", she mused, “between the few of them, they should have some imagination to entertain themselves”. It was settled, then. With one last furtive glance, she clasped her coat around her collarbone and snuck out the front door, gingerly releasing the knob to stifle the sound. Her shoulders curled inward, trying in vain to fight the chill of a bitter November evening as she walked en pointe down the stony path".
To explain: I often can't sleep because I have a hard time turning off my thoughts. Simply put, my body is an early riser and my mind seems to think it's a night owl...so the other night, after my body had finally won out and fallen asleep, my mind decided to wake me up with the afore-written lines. Why? Beats me. But I wasn't able to sleep until I finally got out of bed and wrote them down. Literally. Trust me, I tried for over half an hour to ignore it because I thought it was absurd. The worst part is, while it intrigues me, I'm torn about actually developing the thought. I'm not sure I want to create a work of fiction. But it looks like I started to. In my sleep. Ah, the bizarre life of an English major. ;)
When I imagined what my first car would be, I always pictured something like this:
Yes, that's a wooden spoiler. Add some bumper stickers/duct tape and this baby's ready to roll...just let me shift to neutral. Ok, now push...
Naturally then, it's been a real blessing to have a car that not only runs, but runs well and is in phenomenal shape. My brothers and I are vainly trying to come up with a name for it, which led us to question: are all ships/cars/planes/vehicles necessarily girls? Because I would tend to give it a female name, but apparently Jeeps are too rugged for that. Who knew? In any case, I'm already enjoying making memories in it. Recently with the 90°F+/32.22°C+ weather, the lack of AC has been felt, but it's just meant that I get to share my eclectic musical taste with all of the highlands. One gentleman in a truck the other day decided to share a particular finger with me while I was stuck at a light playing some Sean Kingston. The best glances, however, come when I'm blasting the public classical station (NPR for the win!).
Recently, in talking to a good friend of mine, we were talking about our struggle for contentment in what seems to us to be difficult situations. To paraphrase, she summarized a particularly hard story by saying, " I've come to the realization that God has given me 100% of what I need for the day"(smiles). Period. This not only led me to thank God for the people like her in my life, but to reflect on how radically different my life could look if I really lived like I believed that was true. I'm a planner, and if I'm not mapping out my goals for the next year, I'm slacking. How is one to balance what wisdom there is in organization with James 4:13-17? What if, instead of whining about being tired, I realized that God has already given me the strength I need? If, rather than wallowing in self-pity, I spent the gift of my time in serving others for the sake of the Gospel?
Tu eres todo poderoso; eres grande y majestuoso; eres fuerte, invensible; y no hay nadie como tu.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Recently, I've been utilizing naptime at work to get some extra devotional time in, so I've been bringing my Bible to work. Today, I had the older boy on my lap and he saw it sitting on the table and wanted to read. I let him have it, and as he was flipping through it, holding it upside down, etc. I was explaining how this was a special book about Jesus. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. He flipped to 2 Kings and stabs a chubby finger at the page. "This is a story about Jesus", he blurts out excitedly. He continues flipping at random, repeating his affirmation in all sorts of other parts of scripture. While literally speaking he was incorrect, I couldn't help but smile at how simple it was for this little boy to get the Truth of the Bible: It's all about Christ, whether it's pointing to his coming, describing his life, or detailing "how then we should live" until his return in glory. I realize that this child doesn't comprehend what he said, and that he will have to be taught the same truth, probably a large number of times, and that alone won't produce a renewed heart. I'm humbled that I can be used to be part of sharing the gospel with him, regardless of the outcome of his life (though I pray that God changes and softens his heart!). I've recently been convicted through various conversations that I'm very lukewarm about sharing the Gospel with unbelievers, not because I don't believe it, but because I'm afraid, lazy, or an infinite number of pathetic excuses. It's true, at this particular point in my life, I'm not really around unbelieving adults, for better or for worse. But I am around children who need to know the deeds of the Lord. Later that afternoon, I read Psalm 71, which has become my prayer, "O God, from my youth you have taught me, and still I proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and grey hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come...you who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again." Sustain me Lord, that I can share with the world all you've done for me; don't let soulless rocks cry out of your mercies while I, animate and forgiven, remain silent!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
"Hear this, O foolish and senseless people, who have eyes, but see not, who have ears, but see not. Do you not fear me? declares the LORD; Do you not tremble before me? I placed the sand as a boundary for the sea, a perpetual barrier that it cannot pass; though the waves toss, they cannot prevail; though they roar, they cannot pass over it. But this people has a stubborn and rebellious heart; they have turned aside and gone away. . .the prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule at their direction; my people love to have it so, but what will you do when the end comes?"
How much control do even the most powerful and wise of us have over the ocean? Especially in light of the BP blundering, this was a particularly resonating point. How can I fail to trust a God who can sovereignly control the entirety and intricacy of creation with my little life? What true comfort is there in the lie that I'm in control of my future? Yet how much more content we seem to think we would be if God would just let us plan our own lives. What will I do when the end comes? I sincerely hope the Spirit grants me the ability to plead His righteousness and not mine. His track record is a bit better than mine.