Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Posting this makes me groan. You're welcome.

So a vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says “Are you sure?” The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. 

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him …….. A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 

And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. Almost as lame as the person who posts six hilarious puns in lieu of actual writing. ;) 

7 comments:

Andrew C. Love said...

So one day a guy went to brush his horse and found some birds twittering away, building a nest in his horse's mane. After unsuccessfully trying to shoo them away, he asked his friend what to do, and his friend said he should sprinkle yeast on the birds. He gave this a try, and the next day they were gone. Why?

Because yeast is yeast and nest is nest, and never the mane shall tweet.

Courtney said...

haha. every single one of those made me laugh. every single one. :)

Demon Kitti said...

You shouldn't have groaned. You should've laughed! I sure did. Thanks for posting those. :)

Matthew Pope said...

Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted.

Kelsey Sturm said...

As usual, the comments are better than the post. Well done with the puns, sirs, and many thanks for the positive feedback, ladies!

Lucie said...

Kelsey...this made my day.

The dam joke is one of my old favorites.

also props to whoever posted the assaulted one. Monty python forever.

Kelsey Sturm said...

Glad to oblige, Lucie. And yes, I can't help but read that comment in a German accent...